The continuing story of 'Eye of Ra' has had a chapter added. I hope will you enjoy it.

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This article is one of self-indulgence: I felt it needed saying to give fellow sufferers help and support. It was an extremely emotional time for my loved ones, and me. Writing this article has helped me to come to term with my situation, I hope it helps you the reader just as much.

I like many women, and men before me, have had a health scare. I was diagnosed as having "Breast Cancer." It is no respecter of gender. I was really lucky, it could have been a lot worse than it was. Please do not get me wrong, I am not after sympathy; that is the last thing that I need. What is required on my part, and that of any other sufferer, is to achieve something that at the time seems practically impossible; that of "positive thinking."

If one dwells too much on this issue, your morale sinks even lower; and the healing process becomes slower. Positive thinking has to be one of the hardest things to achieve. We can all put on a brave face when we are required too; but maintaining that "up beat," when your cosy little world has been shattered into a thousand pieces: is one of the hardest things to do.


I have found the best thing is to talk about it; unfortunately some people put up barriers, and treat the subject of cancer as "taboo;" and one not to be faced. Some women quickly change the subject, while others talk about it; maybe they have had a similar experience? On the other hand, they may know someone who has been affected by it? Surprisingly enough, I found men could talk relatively easily about the subject, and without embarrassment.

Their interest stems from the concern that it could happen to their wives, loved ones, or someone of their own gender; they want to know all the facts. I have read books, and gathered information from the Internet, so I feel pretty much informed on the subject. All this information can be somewhat daunting, you read about long-term prospects, and wonder: "What If?" As always on any health issue, you can read about the good, and the bad.

I have learned to question everything that goes on regarding my body. I have had my bad days, but the majority are good. You learn to play harder, and laugh more; in fact, you just get on with living. One of the hardest things is observing the pain on loved one's faces when the subject is approached. Nevertheless, things have to be faced; and each family member, or friend, copes differently.

Some people cannot come to terms with the situation. I have lost contact with people that I had termed close friends; and people I thought of as just being acquaintances: have in turn been supportive of me. I have been one of the lucky ones, with the strong help and support from a very loving family; indeed, they have helped to pull me through this ordeal.


So how do you face these "myriad of emotions" you are going through? You need to take stock; how are you are feeling, not the physical pain, but the emotional: it is hard to come to terms with, believe me I know? People cannot fully understand how you feel, unless they have been through it themselves. I can remember the first time I looked in the mirror thinking - I was incomplete - how could my husband still want me - or my children not turn away in horror at the sight of my body?

It is hard to remain unaffected by it all, but remember you are still the same person. Perhaps you are a wife, and a mother. If so, you are loved and needed. If you are single, it is to be hoped that you have loved ones', that understand how you are feeling: Besides giving you all the moral support that you need at this trying time.

Initially my feelings where that of self-pity: I could not think clearly or face my future. Talking to fellow sufferers, this is something they had all experienced. Yet a few month's down the line, I had managed to develop my positive thinking to the full. In truth, I had finally stopped feeling sorry for myself.


I have to admit this was the hardest emotion of all to cope with. The "Why Me" feeling was extremely strong; I have wept myself to sleep many a night. However, I soon began to realize, that this type of behaviour, was not being fair on my loved ones, and I had to fight so very hard against it.

I realized that you really must, make the best of whatever life throws at you. Live for every moment; and enjoy your life to the full. Try to stop thinking of what has happened to you, "I know it's not easy." Start to think of what you can do with your life. I really look at life differently, enjoying it for what it is, and what it has to offer me, for now, and the future.

It is an awful thing that has happened. However, if you spend your time, feeling sorry for yourself, you will not only ruin your life: but the lives of those who love, and care for you. My only hope is that if you are troubled with the demons, which this illness brings; my words can be of some comfort to you, knowing that you are not alone.

There is always, help and support available to you. So please, make use of these organizations. They really can help you, in providing strength, and comfort, in your hours of need and support.